He has my heart…

“When we fall, we take God with us…” Those words hit like a lightning bolt… The past couple of months have been tough… But somehow you remember who’s you are… How far you’ve come…and how much he sacrificed to get you here… Yes, you’re finally in a good place… Free from the entanglements that looked like pearls… Chains painted in gold… Lies wrapped up in foil… Finally free from the pain.. The anger that kept you bound for years…but somehow… Your heart begins to jump…do cat wheels just thinking about “it” again… Sigh

It’s a natural feeling… Or so you tell yourself each time those lights go off… You know, those moments that trigger the desires… I wasn’t looking I promise… I always said the truth about that… A lie would complicate things… Just tell it as it is… He’ll understand… Never judge…

He has my heart…but I want someone to hold my hands… My hips and lips… Is it wrong to desire something so sweet…so powerful…yet so damaging in the “wrong” hands…? I want it…you..but I can’t do this to him… It will hurt him… Me…

Maybe it’ll happen as I’ve always imagined or notOr maybe it’ll drop in my laps when I least expected… On a hot summer day sitting under the weeping willow tree…

Mr Chocolate…

It’s a rainy day today and I had a flashback to one of my ‘love’ stories (blame it on the weather haha…) So here goes, hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed reliving it!

There are times I’d plan to just ‘pop’ in on social media but then end up spending a lot of time scrolling through Instagram stories of “friends”, celebrities, random strangers… and catching up on all the trending news… It was on one of those days it happened. My phone dropped! I was laying in bed with my phone in one hand and then BANG, DROP, CRACK lol… Felt like I dropped with it haha

You know how it is, right? You’ve dropped it so many times in the past and nothing happens… With each fall, you hold your breath hoping “it’s nothing to worry about”. (Especially if it’s one of those 4 digit costing ones *side eye*)Yep, for a while, that was the case… At least till that day! Guess like many things in life, I took it for granted for so long… I believed my phone was somewhat indestructible smh… Well, jokes on me now *rolls eyes*

So early the next morning, (thankfully it was a Saturday) I was out of the house to go get it fixed. I had no idea where exactly the repair store was.  All I knew was it wasn’t too far from home but dodgy enough for me to hide my wallet, anything worth anything lol…

En route, I stopped to ask for directions and decided to get some money from the cashpoint. I didn’t want to use my card in case I got a notification weeks later that someone on some remote island tried buying a 76″ tv with it haha. And there he was, Mr chocolate walking by… Like a knight in shining armour to the rescue! Pretty much accosted me. He said I had a frown on my face and as a good citizen, he stopped to offer some assistance. Yeah right! I didn’t believe it then and still don’t believe it now lol. We got talking and he kindly followed me to the dodgy phone shop. Yeah, he was nice which stood out, funny and quite attractive too hehe. Extra brownie points! We walked and talked… I felt something…

Weeks later, my phone now fixed and back to my online updates, I noticed Mr Chocolate had evolved into a prima donna… Nope, I wasn’t having it… Seemed he wanted a fan club and I sure wasn’t about that life! 

I guess I’m better off with some real food than chocolate. At least they stay humble no matter the appeal…lol

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Cheers to my ever faithful buffet holiday spread!! Forever looking hot and tasty haha

Not perfect…

Have you been in a relationship, found love, moved into a new home, started a new job, gotten married or had kids and it all seemed perfect at first? But a couple of days, weeks and months after it felt like the ‘honeymoon period was over…? Those things don’t feel or seem so exciting anymore… Maybe you begin to think you got it wrong somehow… You begin to see the ‘not so nice’ side and begin to wonder how you ever missed the signs…

Of course, we tend to believe the best in everything and everyone… But maybe we are so blindsided we focus on the roses and forget the many thorns that come with the package… Did we set ourselves up by believing what we were sold? No one tells you about the sleepless nights with the babies or the annoying habits of being with the ‘love of your life’ up close and personal… Those things they do that make you think of your life early in the morning over a nice hot cup of lemon tea lol. Or the colleague who suddenly begins to morph before your eyes…

Sometimes we think to run… Get out of the situation or just be so hard on ourselves for not seeing things or people as they are… Or maybe we have to manage our expectations in the future and so when anything bursts our fantasy bubble, we’re prepared and ready …

I for one would pick myself up… It’s hardly about me… Or is it? Never take it personally… Just keep being you and never let something or someone else determine your mood or happiness… You owe it to yourself and your peace of mind… Shake it off like water off a duck’s back they say.

Here’s to making better choices with eyes wide open and a heart strong enough to let things go…

New year, old dreams…

Happy New Year folks! Feels like we survived an Alien invasion with Will Smith or the Avengers *wipes sweat off brow*

What better way to start the new year than to look forward to vacations… Yep, those random holidays we hop on just because it’s £49 all-inclusive haha… Sit back, grab your hot chocolate, margarita, kale smoothie and let’s get cosy with one of my favourite holiday moments I can’t wait to experience real soon… lol 

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Flipping through the channels while unpacking at the hotel and not one single English speaking channel… (Not entirely true lol… Well, apart from the popular News channel- Did someone say “BBC”? Lol, yep… Ever faithful… But does anyone watch the news on holiday 👀?) All I hear from the TV is krcghskrhrkelepwjwjw… haha. Yep, makes no sense to me either. Is it me or they tend to show interesting movies or series you want to watch but it’s voiced over in the local language? lol… No use, so you dunk the remote somewhere under the bed. Astalavista baby lol

I was never one to download movies, series, documentaries, Jamie Oliver (He’s a whole series to me lol) to watch on flights, but after my last experience, it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea after all… ‘Click to resume download..’ haha

To be honest, I spend most of my holiday either in bed or at the buffet haha… Yep, I’m that lady walking around the buffet table with a plate in her hands. It’s all about “the good life” as defined by me… After a good meal, I squeeze in a bit of tour of the city on foot or with the popular ‘Big Bus’. So you can imagine my annoyance after a long day being a tourist and glued to bed with the air conditioning on (most times it’s about 40 Celsius outside- Remember, we are on vacation not cold London *side eye*) and discover just 5 channels, no English. Smh, I thought these hotels are meant to be ‘international’? Seems the only thing international here is my passport!

The irony of it all is when I’m back home with a zillion English speaking channels at my disposal… I hardly ever go past the first 3! 

Cheers to 2021… Please be good to us.

Gangsta Granny…

Yes, the movie haha (adapted from the book by David Walliams). I watched it on the BBC and it sure made me tear up (cried watching Frozen yesterday too smh, what’s wrong with me lol). The children’s book has been available for some time I believe, but for some reason, I felt a bit too ‘grown-up’ to read it. So today while making brunch flipping through the channels, I come across it and guess whose picture came up? My favourite Ms Marple (Well not her per se lol, but Julia McKenzie who played her in the popular series over on ITV). She won me over… I set the table, got my napkins and Gangsta Granny was it lol

It’s a very heartwarming movie (I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet… though I think I’m the last person on earth who finally watched it… Most folks saw it for the 5th time today haha). The cast was fabulous, I enjoyed it (minus the ‘stealing’ *rolls eyes*, we don’t want the kids picking that up). Or maybe it’s the kid in me who misses her granny. It’s so weird how grannies (is that a word? lol) the world over are similar no matter where they are. I mean, they always have sweets for the grandkids, and I remember how like Ben in the movie, sometimes I felt hanging out with her was boring. So many memories came flooding back… Got me thinking there might be a Nan training agency somewhere where they all get the memo hence the similarities… Weird, right? haha

My Nan told many stories too, but mostly about life when she was much younger and doing what she loved. The people she met, the places she visited and the history behind many of the brands we see today. As we got older, the stories began to change… They were more about her heartbreak… About a man she loved that hurt her… Decades had passed, but each time she told those stories it felt raw and fresh… It still stung her real bad. She was so young and in love. She more or less gave up her life for him… She stayed, but one day she decided it was enough… She walked out and never looked back. If only memories could be easily ‘dropped’ too. She was a different woman after. This woman was strong, and looking back I think I got that part of me from her. You know, never be afraid to walk away from something… or someone. We always survive… She did… and I’m still standing too…

It’s almost three years since we laid her to rest… We always thought she would kinda live forever… If only… Many wonderful memories… There’s just something special about grannies don’t you think? They always seem to love the most….

Now that she’s gone… I wish I could have one more meal with her at her favorite cafe… or a walk down Oxford street as she tells me about how to be a lady and what to wear and all *rolls eyes*Or our bus rides all around London… or just down the road to see Doctor S…

Sigh… I sure do miss you, Granny…